


Gravity

by IvoryCrest



Series: The Shadow & The Light [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Essek is going in circles in his mind, He shouldn't but he wants to, M/M, Pining, Shadowgast, Spoilers for C2Ep77, pondering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 20:09:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20588360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvoryCrest/pseuds/IvoryCrest
Summary: Essek collects himself after the scene with the scourger.





	Gravity

His eyes couldn't help but wander to the splotching of blood that had soaked into his shirt and coat. While the two clerics perfectly sealed the wound, there was exhaustion to the man. He looked as if years of guilt had just fallen on him with no warning. He looks tired.

The woman is carried off, her body to be examined. Essek gathers the cuffs in his hand, finding the shattered metal. Someone set her free, but it'll take time to find out who. Everyone will need to be interrogated. He would've allowed them to speak with her soul, but without the spell necessary, it can't be done. He pushes his limits of bending the rules. He can't outright break them.

It's idiotic that he's gone this far for them. He's given them a house from his den, given them transport to direct locations via his magic, and is even teaching their own wizard classified spells.

He must be losing his mind.

However, he just killed the prisoner meant for public execution, a show of power. She could've lived. She was barely alive after the arrows but still breathing. It was a reaction, and instinct to lift her in the air, but the rage was laced with the intent.

At that moment, he looks to the man for any sign. When he'd agreed, Essek waited no time in crushing the woman with the force of gravity, her body becoming distorted. It wasn't a foreign sensation. He'd done it many times before and he'll do many times after. However, this time, there was satisfaction, but also an unpleasant feeling as if it weren't enough.

He wanted to close the distance between the redhead and himself. He wanted to as if he was all right, physically and mentally, but the quiet muttering of the man as he knelt to the woman and carefully brushed her hair back, made him stay where he was. It felt like a moment he had no part in. This was a moment that wasn't meant for him to intrude on.

Once he leaves them, he'll have to answer to the Queen. She'll want to know why the woman is dead, as will countless others. He'll need to appease them. He should've had more restraint, but the moment Caleb was hurt, all rationality left his mind.

It's nothing more than a simple attraction. The man in question doesn't even know of it. He can never know. With time, it'll fade to the recess of the mind. With their new mission, they will be in the Empire, hundreds of miles in the distance. The gravity of this attraction will stretch with it.

As they begin to leave the dungeons, Essek forces himself not to reach out as Caleb staggers a little, just catching himself on the wall. The firbolg notices and glances back, making sure Caleb was fine and met Essek's eyes and smiles.

"Are you all right?" Essek finds himself asking as he stops a few steps below.

"I'll live," the man answers with an uneven thickness to his accent.

Essek looks in the man's eyes, finding the vibrant color he's become fond of seeing was dimmed. There was a pain there he didn't know and understand and wasn't meant to. It's a flaw that could be valuable if they should ever end on opposing sides. However, this pain felt like something old but somehow still raw; a ghost that had been lingering in the shadows only to appear at the right moment to set fright.

This is a man with layers of pain and guilt; each pried off with more effort than most are willing to exert. A few must have been peeled back by his friends, but there's no telling how many there are. Not everyone has access to them. Some are sure to be exact to individual members.

"So, you will."

Quietly they joined the others outside. The sudden cold air calms Essek's mind, and he watches as Caleb returns to his friends. They hover close over the man, worry and relief crossing their faces. Essek can't help but feel the same despite his himself.

Yes, he must be losing his mind.


End file.
